Dave Blackburn is first to declare for the Pontiac Conservative Nomination

10819-daveblackburn

 

Je suis heureux de vous annoncer que M. Dave Blackburn tentera de briguer l’investiture du Parti conservateur du Canada dans la circonscription de Pontiac, QC, pour la prochaine élection fédérale de 2019.

S’il vous plaît, veuillez consulter le https://www.daveblackburn.net/ pour plus d’informations sur notre premier candidat potentiel. Vous pouvez le contacter au blackburn-pontiac@outlook.com pour les demandes d’entrevue.

Dave Blackburn – FR

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I am pleased to announce that Dr. Dave Blackburn will be seeking the Conservative Party of Canada nomination for Pontiac, QC, in the upcoming 2019 Federal election.

Please consult https://www.daveblackburn.net/ for information on our first prospective candidate, and contact him at blackburn-pontiac@outlook.com for interview requests.

Dave Blackburn – EN

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All aboard for the Pontiac Conservative Nomination!

Après une Assemblée générale annuelle réussie, avec un discours d’ouverture de notre ancien député, Lawrence Cannon, l’Association conservatrice du Pontiac se prépare maintenant pour la campagne fédérale de 2019. Le processus officiel de sélection de notre candidat(e) débutera sous peu.
Je suis heureux de l’intérêt manifesté jusqu’ici par le processus de sélection et j’encourage tout ceux intéressées à recevoir plus d’informations à me contacter à l’adresse courriel suivante: Benjamin.n.woodman@gmail.com.
Nous avons beaucoup de talent dans notre région et plusieurs d’entre eux pourraient devenir d’excellent candidats(e). Je suis impatient de travailler avec toute personne intéressée à faire du Pontiac un endroit encore plus agréable à vivre.

 

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Following a successful AGM, with a keynote address from our former MP Lawrence Cannon, the Pontiac Conservative Association is preparing for the 2019 election campaign. The formal process for selecting our candidate will commence in the near future.

I’m pleased with the interest that’s been expressed in the Pontiac Conservative candidate nomination thus far, and want to encourage all interested prospective candidates to contact me at Benjamin.n.woodman@gmail.com for more information.

Our region has a wealth of talented individuals that would make for great candidates in the 2019 federal election. I am looking forward to working with everyone interested in making the Pontiac an even better place to live in.

The Liberal Party of Canada Donation Experience

I walk to my community mailbox, which I have loved since Justin said I could. My anticipation is building like pressure from a Mentos dropped into a (Liberal) red bottle of Coca Cola.

Peering inside, I see a single letter with a familiar red marking on the envelope. The Liberal Party of Canada has issued me a correspondence!

I can barely conceal my excitement as I walk home, my prize clutched between now clammy hands. A pedestrian impedes my pathway at one point. “The environment and the economy go hand in hand” I snarl, elbowing her aside with the same disdain I normally reserve for rural Canadians and firearms owners. It’s fine because I’m a feminist.

At home I sit beneath my three framed photos of Justin as I open my correspondence. “Dear Friend, the Liberal Party and I need your help.” A wave of taxpayer-funded jubilation washes over me – the Dear Leader has addressed me personally and requires my assistance! But why??

I continue reading. “We need to grow the economy from the heart out. Fidel Castro was a larger than life leader who served his people for almost half a century – the Liberal movement is built on meaningful conversations like this. You must send me $400 dollars because We have to stop Stephen Diefenbaker.”

Wiping the perspiration from my brow I aggressively whip out my wallet to see how big my bank statement is.

Knowing that the very fate of peoplekind depends on my ability to donate, I immediately dampen my internal desire to add to my collection of culturally-sensitive Indian attire. There are more important matters to devote my finances to at this moment – Justin needs me!

Faster than you can re-open the abortion debate, I dial Justin’s number as instructed. By this point I’m shaking and my heart rate has elevated to be in line with Liberal deficit figures. “Sunny ways my friend!” I cackle, ignoring the warnings issued by (pseudo-science) economists on rising interest rates about to impact my bottom line.

My composure now gone, I shriek into the phone, demanding that the Liberal Party debit my account in full, as if I were a middle-class taxpayer. “My household budget will balance itself” I screech, alarming the volunteer on Justin’s phone (Gerry?), though thankfully not to the point where he won’t take my money.

Finally my transaction is complete. The resulting adrenalin dump has left me in a vegetative state, sprawled on the floor where I will softly sob into my Liberal Party of Canada t-shirt for the next several hours.

Eventually I will recover. I have to – after all, the mail is scheduled to be delivered again tomorrow.